Joshuwa
Week 25 of 39

Joshuwa commits to:
Meditate everyday without exception

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Next report due:
September 26
11:00 PM GMT
Commitment Journal
Joshuwa
Joshuwa
September 20, 2017, 9:37 PM
The last few days have been difficult to fit my sits in, what with moving to a new city and organising myself/seeing how long things take. I just did a resting awareness sit, which was challenging, but I briefly found a sweet spot, hopefully it was, and not just a fallacy.

Anyway, I'll endeavour to continue and also branch out to the meditation centre.
Joshuwa
Joshuwa
September 14, 2017, 3:59 PM
Open awareness, occasional eyes open sessions. Significantly more difficult. Also the realisation that my mind has been relatively quiet this summer, whereas during intense work periods, it's exceptionally more difficult to remain mindful. Although I am still catching my breath throughout the day.
Joshuwa
Joshuwa
August 28, 2017, 8:13 AM
Perhaps the experience may have been different had I not had coffee recently beforehand
Joshuwa
Joshuwa
August 28, 2017, 7:50 AM
I just had what I can only describe as an out of body and mind experience whilst meditating for the first time. I began to find a rhythm and really pay attention to the details of the breath, focusing on every second of it. As I did so, my heart rate began to pick up, and eyes closed, darkness in sight, the 'room' of my consciousness began to expand, like a black room, or what I imagine the universe expanding to be like. My body sort of dissolved away, I recognised my mouth was salivating and slightly opening, heart racing. As I realised it was happening I was having an internal battle with myself over how to stay mindful of the breath and to ride it out, go deeper in fact. Each time I recognised the thought 'holy shit, what is this?' I came back to the purity of the breath and I could feel it going deeper. I knew that it was soon going to be over when Andy interrupts, I'm not sure whether I was relieved or grateful to come back down to earth. I can see why people might not feel comfortable, but I felt okay, I trusted in myself to know my brain wasn't about to melt and become a vegetable. I was still shaking afterwards and feel drained now, as though you've just been through an experience. Profound, but confounded is how I would describe both the experience and my reflection on it.
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Total at stake: $195.00
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