I have no clocked over 365 days of meditating on Headspace, however, I have of course missed a few days throughout the year. In a few weeks I'll have made up for this anyway.
But it's not about that, what's important is that I haven't transcended being able to focus on the breath for extended periods, unless my mind is particularly still and quiet. |
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Eyes open, focused attention. Loving it. |
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Again, I have just had an experience whilst meditating. It was deeply uncomfortable. It felt as though my body was inflating like a balloon. I felt unable to stop it, my heart rate picked up to a rapid clip. I really struggled to return to counting of the breath or to return to any focus. I did however let it go, let it happen and rode it out. I am unsure whether this is due to coffee, as I had a strong coffee around three hours ago, but I don't feel any more overly stimulated than any other morning, although perhaps I am not very aware of my hyperactive mind as I am so used to drinking coffee daily. I may try going without it for a few day to experiment. The mind did eventually return to baseline and find some sort of normality, although my eyes were having convulsions and moving rapidly into the back of my head. I had to stop my session at 18 minutes as it had trapped an eyelash inside and subsequently caused an irritation that forced me to open my eyes. This is obviously not something I do frequently, and therefore I did get a sense of the abrupt nature of breaking from meditation without proper transition and form of realising the senses and allowing the mind to be free (something not possible given my eyes and high distraction caused by it). I will continue to meditate daily, no questions asked, as the benefits yielded from hundreds of days of clean meditation far outweigh those such as these, with negative experience. That being said, I can truly understand why someone who has practiced once or twice and experiences this would be spooked and not wish to explore further. |
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The last few days have been difficult to fit my sits in, what with moving to a new city and organising myself/seeing how long things take. I just did a resting awareness sit, which was challenging, but I briefly found a sweet spot, hopefully it was, and not just a fallacy.
Anyway, I'll endeavour to continue and also branch out to the meditation centre. |
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