So this last week I feel even more aware about how much complaining people around me are doing. And yesterday I was particulary aware, and how somebody wanted sympathy..which I tried to give them without ‘selling out’ - so the thing is - don’t feel like a victim to your circumstamces, and don’t try and connect with people trough victimisation. I should now be better at catching myself when feeling that something is controlling me, and how I react to it. Don’t think of myself as a victim, but see what is happening as a possible lesson to be learned. I know it can be. And preferanbly be more firm with people trying to connect trough victimisation.
So I’ll give myself a pass this week, cause I don’t remember doong some overt complaining, and I want to repeat the same challenge next year, with better defined parameters of what I see as complaining. I really think that would be interesting.
Sidenote - mabe explain to people who complain to me that I am doing this project, and that I too struggle with this problem. |
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What to say. So a basic conversation can go like this...I say samething that sounds like complaining, then I remember that I should not complain, so I make my statement weaker - just weak enough that I feel its not that much like I am complaining. Just so that I can accept it. My hope now is that I see that its no point in complaining in the first place. I am gonna give me a pass, just because I can’t remember a specific situation that I was straight out complaining.
I like that this log helps me reflect on my own behaviour, which is just the first step in changing it. |
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So I know now that this is a commitment that I will struggle with. This week I realized that I am using complainig to connect with people as a general rule - I find that people want to talk about others that we both know and sort of talk negative about them. This is in the gray area when it comes to complaining, and I have sort of complained in this manner a lot this week. I have not made any big obvious complaints this week, which is why I am giving myself a pass. Another positive thing that happened was me trying to find something positive to say to a guy at work trying to make a ‘complaint connection’. I think a complaint connection should be defined as some thing we both are pushing against, something we can’t obviously change, something that creates a bubble of us against ‘them’ where the ‘them’ is not easily defined. The point is that we connect trough the hopelessness of the situation. We surrender to the negative energy.
The hope for next week is to not obviously complain, and also not trying to connect trough a complaint connection. |
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So this commitment started with a surprise. I never saw myself as a ‘guy who complains’ a lot. Turns out that I don’t know my own self at all! I started to complain that I hate the cold the first day, and it also happened so many other times too. Today I became frustratingly aware that I communicate with the people I work with by complaining. Mabe I think thats how they perfer to connect - but that just means that I should NOT connect. Anyway, curious how this will go, and this is a good reminder that I have so much to gain from doing theese monthly commitments. |
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