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https://www.notion.so/jhanuman/Completed-9d011523a13e4a33803919fbdb6f402d |
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https://www.notion.so/jhanuman/OMAD-45b6f351851c4ae7a16ec65a5d89f94e |
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Every morning starts at 3 AM with Hill Training. I live on a private road; a steep 2-mile round trip. I carry my fully loaded 25lb hiking pack that I train with throughout the day and wear for at least 5 hours daily (I'm training for a thru-hike in 2020, but that's a different story.) I jog down the hill and then hike back up as fast as I can (24m 55s is my current record).
This sub-30 minute commitment is the lifeblood of my entire day. It's the reason that I jolt up from my sleeping mat in a split second. It's the motivating force in almost every action that comes afterward. It's also the most pleasant time to walk: no cars, dogs are asleep, stars are out, and it's nice and cold- a welcome change in Maui).
Thunderstorms were blaring all morning and I decided to skip it. My excuse: Well it can't rain ALL day..I'll just wait till it's nice enough to jog and do it then. In hindsight, that's a terrible excuse. I won't have that luxury while on the trail. I need to get in the habit of "embracing the suck". I have my rain gear in my pack, so there's really nothing holding me back-except for empty excuses. Told myself I can do it later. Later never came. What did come was a lack of motivation throughout the day. I was speaking to myself in a negative fashion. I was unproductive in my work projects. And the worst occurred--I indulged in food outside of my 1-hour time block: an ungodly amount of buckwheat flatbread (still gassy from it.) That's right. I just donated to baby killers. My next check-in on Dec 26th will be met with the most embarrassing, gut-wrenching and disgusting loss I've felt in quite awhile.
Historically, I would dwell on a loss and then eat my feelings..but that approach would just result in more baby killing! So no. I don't dwell on this loss. I'm grateful for this loss. It's good to know what a loss of this caliber feels like and to dissociate from the feelings of it. I started off talking about my Hill Walk because it's better to address the ROOT of the loss instead of the emotions that come from it. That hill walk is my life. I need it or something dies inside. I need more than anything else that comes in the day. It's going to be raining all week, so best believe I'm going to be huffing it in the windy rain! Furthermore, I'll be in Portland soon, so I better get used to it raining constantly!
"Cut your losses short, let your profits run."-Ed Seykota |
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