Joshua9941
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create an app for iPhone
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Week 31 of 31
Joshua9941 commits to:
Create app for iPhone
3
28
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My Commitment Journal
 Joshua9941
May 21, 2013, 4:41 PM
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| I am doing my best to get back with coding, but I have experienced unspeakable frustration with my living arrangement and it has brought me to the point where I am living with my sister. Things were VERY difficult but they have improved over the last few days. I suppose I can probably get back to coding pretty soon. We'll see about tomorrow, since I should be glued to one operating location for the day. Getting back into a more structured routine would be ideal. My sister is imposing a lot of limitations on me: probably because she thinks it is helping me. I could see it going both ways. Restricting my freedom can be an educational pathway for me-plus, she is allowed to have boundaries- and those boundaries should be as expansive as she wants them to be, since she is helping me out with a place to stay. The last two days have held progress from the setback I had last week. I should celebrate the progress instead of focusing exclusively on the negative. | |
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Joshua9941
April 28, 2013, 10:53 PM
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| made the video and got practical experience dealing with suicide and made connections at the counseling center at WCC. | |
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Joshua9941
April 28, 2013, 10:52 PM
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| I seriously need a job. I felt great yesterday and then I made a mistake last night which basically put me in a state of physical non-well-being which caused me to sleep til 1pm, which gave me an excuse to just throw the whole day away. Of course, I see the error in my thinking now. I got my BCOM test done. My classes all relate to the field I'm trying to get into, but as far as coding, once again, this hasn't been a good week. The week started off ok, but then, upon hearing of the attempted suicide of one of my classmate's sisters, I was filled with a certain degree of lethargy. It was a swift blow to my self-esteem somehow. It was as if all the problems associated with depression are telling me "you do not have control this is bigger than you." I gave that girl everything I had and I have no idea what she has done with it or if her sister is dead or even if she is. The situation is so discouraging. I have reported all this to the proper authorities and I spoke with my counselor about it, but it is still weighing on me a little. Either that, or I just let it get me down. That is one thing I have control over: myself. I did good. I helped her in every way I could and though my performance was far from perfect, I still moved forward. The semester is wrapping up and I am hoping to hear back from the University of Michigan soon. I should probably call them tomorrow or something. I notice that I have a lot of fear about the future again. As if I am going to lose out all over again and all my attempts at success will disintegrate into nothing: but that of course is nonsense. I made progress this week, not as much as I wanted, but I am getting there and beating myself up isn't going to do any good. One major thing i did get done was the video I posted to YouTube. Think I'll go check to see how many views it has now. | |
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Joshua9941
April 22, 2013, 5:57 PM
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| I think I realized why I have been so unmotivated over the last few days: I've been fairly on top of things and my grades look great. The class I am most concerned about is Macroeconomics, but that is to be expected. I knew that class would be difficult, but I'm pretty on top of things as far as classes go. I'm almost done with a PowerPoint that may bring in lots of funding for my goal. It definitely improved my PowerPoint skills which I may be able lend out on craigslist. That would be a really good idea!!! As far as actually coding, however, it's been a couple weeks at least! I've been so busy trying to keep so many plates spinning (they were more important plates: plates more important that the app itself) but the good news is those plates look like they'll be spinning for awhile and I have a plan B if it crashes to the ground. I've completed my UROP application and I've maintained a certain degree of social health. I do feel depressed lately. Maybe I am just tired. That would certainly make sense. That was a rough couple of weeks for a lot of people: pretty much the entire country had a rough couple weeks. explosions and shit. To be completely honest, I got a whole done considering perhaps I am being too hard on myself. Other people have told me that before so much. After all, since when does being too hard on yourself worked for you? It's only help you back. Cut back on that chemical for a week. That is a good goal. Coffee, protein shakes, and good food. Not too much sugar. That should help big time. And see if you can get back to exercising again. I may have suffered a setback or two, but the overall progress is apparent to me. I need to cut back on my consumption of a certain chemical to just the weekend. I need to hit up a meeting somewhere. Get a better social life than certain locales. It may have been what I needed for a time, but maybe that time of my life is done. | |
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