selfrespectR
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break the "delete" barrie...
Star this Commitment
selfrespectR commits to:
W-A-I-T until Friday, probably when I'm out dancing: 1. before I reassess whether I will delete FK's number. 2. Refrain from thinking about him/why he stopped calling, etc. I will journal my thoughts tonight then remove from my mind. I don't expect him to call anymore. If he does, I will be courteous but unavailable.
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My Commitment Journal
 selfrespectR
May 19, 2013, 9:55 PM
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Turns out he called on Friday, a few hours before Skyroom. It was uncanny how he gave me the exact same "Kipp" excuse- was traveling for business, super busy, phone died, only has my # in that phone, didn't have charger. He didn't call at 7 when he said he would. He lost the one thing that made him different that all the other guys, and is now just like them all: a guy, i.e. a guy who wants sex. I haven't yet deleted his number. I haven't called. I have definitely moved on maybe acted in spite, just to prove that I moved on. That is a separate issue because I lost some of my self respect in the process. That is a separate goal. For this goal, I am making progress. Mr. Kess is right. This guy should be out. I have put him on side lines when he should be out. If and when we do talk, I would like to meet in person without over drinking or sex. Then I will speak up (another goal). Otherwise, time and dance are wonderful. Sometimes I catch myself wondering what happened a little bit. I then remember Kipp story (at leas it has learning value) and refrain from thinking of it as much. I do see that he is a terrible multitasker and marches to the beat of a drum he created. He, like Kipp, has a lot going on. I do this to guys much more than they do it to me - that is what happens when I play in the game of life. much better than not playing. More than anything, this is an opportunity for growth: learn new ways of thinking, breaking barriers, and practicing new behaviors. |
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selfrespectR
May 16, 2013, 3:40 AM
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| I spoke with Mr. Kess today about it. He told me that I should not have spoken that way (I agree). Also told me to forget about him and move on. He doesn't care about me, only wants one thing. When I asked if I should delete #, he gave an unequivocal "yes! forget it." If he calls back? "Tell him you're busy." I want to delete, but have also committed till Friday. For this particular exercise, the training of StikK is important to me. Therefore, I will wait till Friday to delete. | |
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selfrespectR
May 15, 2013, 1:44 AM
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| Normally, I delete guy's numbers in a flash, without a second thought. This is about ME changing my behaviors, breaking barriers, curbing this impulse. nothing to do with him. | |
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May 15 to September 6
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