No Out of Control Drinking for One ... Star this Commitment
Week 14 of 52

Brittneymsufi commits to:
I commit to not drinking enough to brown-out or black-out or to act out of control for one year to begin. I commit to setting and sticking to drink limits in order to meet my goal. I commit to spending the year searching for what may lead me to binge-drink in certain situations, and identify the triggers that have led to more reckless behavior in the past. I commit to eating healthier to enable my body to act more appropriately. I commit this to myself, my husband, my family and friends.
Last reported: Success
Next report due:
May 28
8:00 AM GMT
Commitment Journal
May 21, 2019, 11:38 PM
I completed my goal this week, despite having a friend’s wedding on Sunday with awkward circumstances. I would say I overdid it in the sense I was slightly hungover the next day, and it made me feel crappy that I drank enough to feel a little hungover, but I was in control, positive, and had an enjoyable time. This weekend, we’re going to Portland to see family, and I plan to moderate my drinking and set limits, and get back on track.
May 7, 2019, 7:54 PM
This past reporting period, we went to Denver and whereas we did not drink in moderation, we were able to keep things under control and not overdue it to the point of any negative behavior. That said, I know that drinking in non-moderation carries a risk, and I feel grateful that we both remained positive and had fun and we’re not out of control for the most part. I want these situations to be mindful and infrequent, due to the inherent risk they carry to our relationship and my mental health. I’ll be taking a drinking break this week, and then back to my moderation (no more than 5 on any given day) for the foreseeable future.
April 9, 2019, 3:56 PM
After a slip up in Vegas last week, I’ve decided to set an absolute hard limit of 5 drinks per day to simplify things. I also want to drink less often In general, but I find that part easy and I think it will be easier to concentrate on one thing at a time. I e went to a birthday party in tiburon last weekend, and it was interesting to see how quickly people drink, and how fast 5 drinks can add up. I stuck to my limit, and had 3 at the party, half a glass of wine at dinner, and one glass of wine at home. I felt it was a generous limit, and that I was tipsy but not drunk, and totally in control of myself. After the party, some people went to San Francisco to continue things; and it sounded fun. What I realized is that moderation when it comes to partying means “pick one”! Pick day or night. There will be times when that is difficult, but it will be worth it
April 4, 2019, 7:13 PM
This past week, we had a conference in Las Vegas, and I went over my limit on one day which caused me to act more irresponsibly by not wanting to go home, and become irritated at my husband for wanting to go home. I was harsh and angry about him telling me to come home, and acted completely immaturely... like going home and not continuing to hang out with our friends at the club was the total end of the world. I lost my foresight for a bit, and was basically a petulant child to my husband. I’m really disappointed in myself, but I also know that I need to dust myself off, get back up, and continue to work on this. All of the resources I have say that during the first few years (especially first 3-6 months) of changing a well-engrained habit (especially drinking, due to the effects it has on your cognitive processing/reward center... aka each drink you consume makes it more likely to consume another because it numbs you and makes decision making difficult) it is almost unavoidable to have a slip up or two, and that you must take them as learning experiences, and not give up. It can be easy to feel defeated, and ashamed, but those feelings don’t help you get closer to your goal.
I stuck to my limit on Sunday at the pool party, and that was positive. I felt good the next day and had fun during the time we were out.
I have identified reasons I had a harder time sticking to my limit on Monday:
- I had two drinks earlier in the day, with a big break in between drinking. I think mentally, I wrote those drinks off as not counting toward my nightly limit since it was so much earlier. Even if it is the case, that they don’t affect you so much later, what I realized is that right now I can’t have that type of mental flexibility in terms of my drinking limit. If I start saying “well, my limit for the day is 7 because it’s a really long day so we’re drinking over the course of 12 hours” I am okay with that on special occasions. However, if you say “well, my limit is 7, but the first few drinks I had were really early, so they sort of don’t count” the next thing you know you’re saying yes to a drink later on, and your limits are out the window because you’ve made that hard-line a soft line. Maybe one day it will be okay to think like that, but for now it isn’t. If I say 3 drinks in one day, or even on a special occasion I say 5-7, I absolutely cannot waver from my limit. It doesn’t matter if I have one at brunch at 11 am, and then we go out at 9 pm completely sober... that first drink counts. If I look at it in more flexible terms, even though my body has processed the drink at that time, I find myself losing will power and being too flexible with my limit.
I also noticed that I need more control over what I drink. I grabbed one glass of wine at the welcome reception, and realized that I shouldn’t take it out to the welcome booth. I had only had a few sips, and then I let a colleague have the rest. That was another moment that led to flexibility in my limit, because later in the night I was open to having some wine that our coworker brought over before the club because I knew I had only had a few sips of the other glass earlier. That makes it hard to track how many drinks you have had. Next time, I would either have my original glass and put it somewhere hidden to finish later so that I understand it is one drink included in my limit for the day, I would not grab a drink at all, or I would count it as one of my drinks toward my limit even though it was only a few sips. No mental flexibility or confusion there.
Lastly, I need to think of some additional way to reward myself in the moment when I notice people are grabbing another drink or encouraging heavy drinking (like in the club) and I say no/stick to my goals. In the moment I have a really hard time saying no because I want to join in. from my reading and courses, i understand that this gets better and easier with time - practice makes perfect. I haven’t had enough practice or success here yet. Each time I do this correctly though, the easier it will become. Each time I don’t do it, I have to start over.
Lastly, I think there are very certain occasions (i.e. friend’s bachelorette party, going out with husband for big bday party, mutual friend’s wedding) where there may be a time to say “okay the limit can be 6 or 7 drinks... I.e the pool party day where we got brunch at 11 or so and grabbed a drink, had a few at the pool, ate/sobered up, and then had a few in the evening) however, as a rule my limit should be no more than 5 on any given day. That is a completely generous limit, and it ensures that I will not get to the point where my decision making skills go out the window and I say yes to one more drink because my inhabiting are lowered and everyone else is doing it. In general, I would like to get to a point where I employ the rule of 3s “no more than three drinks per day, no more than three days per week” and that is definitely doable. I really enjoyed my sober month, and dont feel the need to drink every day by any means, or the need to overdue it when I go to dinner/happy hour/etc during the week. It is the “binge drinking social situations” that have always been difficult for me. For now, I’m starting with something safe and doable while being realistic about the fact that we will occasionally still be in those situations (ie, Myll and Larissa’s wedding, bachelor/bachelorette parties, wine tasting with friends, etc) and knowing that a limit of 5 once in a while is not going to negatively impact my health or our relationship. I need to keep in mind that each time I succeed, it will become easier and easier. After my sober break, and staying sober a night at the conference where everyone was drinking, I realize that I’m way happier, funnier, kinder and more thoughtful sober, so if I stick to a lower limit it will be more enjoyable for me and everyone around me. I truly hate that this is difficult for me, but I am not giving up on myself, and I know that with hard work, dedication, and mindfulness I can do this.
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Recipient of Stakes
Anti-charity (Gun Control: NRA Foundation)
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Total at stake: $2,600.00
Stakes per period: $50.00
Remaining Stakes: $1,950.00
Total Money Lost: $50.00
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