No Porn for 3 Months Star this Commitment
Day 83 of 91

leafboy commits to:
Not watching any porn for 3 months.
Last reported: Success
Next report due:
July 2
4:00 AM GMT
My Commitment Journal
June 29, 2022, 4:37 PM
I relapsed today. I have decided to steer clear of the ganj for 3 months as well. Smoking legit just alters your decision making. I was feeling fine before smoking too, the rationalization to smoke was to just smoke with my brother. I haven't been taking the decision to cut weed seriously, but now I have decided to. I was going strong... at least 1 month.
This commitment is almost done, and I haven't actually gone 3 months with no pron. So, the next commit will be a no pron and no weed combined.
June 22, 2022, 4:33 PM
Yes, viewing pornography during all those years of development certainly had an effect on you in ways you probably don't fully realize. But you aren't playing the victim and you're taking control. It's fantastic that you're fighting to break this addiction. I absolutely believe you can do this and that you can be a healthy person with healthy relationships. Keep up the good work!
June 21, 2022, 3:21 PM
Voyeurism tendencies probably have manifested themselves from my experience with pornography. I mean, I have been exposed to pornography since I was 5, and have been watching it throughout the years growing up. I'm not sure if that would effect everyone the way it has for me, but I think it probably has an effect on how people interact with the world to some degree.
Yes, that makes total sense. Identifying people (myself included) with a particular characteristic or judgement does not wholly define that person as a whole. You have given me much to consider. Thank you.
June 20, 2022, 4:31 PM
Perhaps we try to categorize others and ourselves in ways that are far too simple to reflect reality? No one is all good or all bad, but somewhere on a spectrum. Perhaps being a very moral person except a secret struggle in one or a few areas. Others might only act moral, but it's mostly an act. It's not just the secret struggle they have, but in fact they really just don't have the strong morals they pretend to have in most outward areas.

You also have to figure out if you're being too easy or too hard on yourself. It's a tough balance. You should be hard on yourself to the extent it means you don't accept your character flaws and remain vigilant and improving yourself. You should use this to stop yourself from being self righteous. But you also should be easy on yourself in that you should not let an area of struggle define you as a person. Don't let your weakest area be how you value yourself.

Judging is related to this. We all judge and we should. We have to be careful what we judge and how we go about it. We need to recognize right and wrong actions and words. It's harder to judge others' motives. And I think we should avoid judging a person as a whole. You did a bad thing, not you are a bad person. Does that makes sense? Whether or not we need to vocalize that judgement requires wisdom.
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Recipient of Stakes
Anti-charity (Gay Marriage: National Organization for Marriage)
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Total at stake: $455.00
Stakes per period: $5.00
Remaining Stakes: $45.00
Total Money Lost: $50.00
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