Most New Year’s Resolutions are about losing weight, improving business, paying off bills and other lifestyle changes…but they are all individual goals.  When was the last time you set a goal as a couple to make the relationship stronger and more secure? Numerous couples answer that the only time they think about nurturing the relationship is when they have problems. Does this sound familiar to you?

In the book Hold Me Tight, Sue Johnson reports that the bond between couples is calming, soothing, and healing. “When we are close to, hold, or make love with our partners, we are flooded with the ‘cuddle hormones’ oxytocin and vasopressin.  These hormones seem to turn on ‘reward’ centers in the brain, flooding us with calm and happiness chemicals like dopamine, and turning off stress hormones like cortisol.” She also states that, “Distress in a relationship adversely affects our immune and hormonal system, and even our ability to heal.”  Relationships are the foundation to all aspects of our lives. The stronger the bond, the better we function in life. The lesser the bond, the more it impairs daily functioning.
 
Often times, couples don’t make the relationship a priority; they wait until problems arise and the relationship is in critical condition.  They quickly slam into a brick wall and awaken to a harsh reminder that the relationship was neglected and brutally damaged.  By the time they make the relationship a priority, they have to spend endless amounts of energy on repair work. 

Instead of over-looking the relationship like many couples, make it a priority.  Simply because life gets busy, it doesn’t mean that your relationship shouldn’t be nurtured.  Be smart and do preventative work.  Make your relationship a goal for 2010. With your partner, write out the goals for the relationship (weekly date nights, better communication, stop being defensive, more surprises for one another, etc). Place it in a location that you two will see on a daily basis.  Try it out…I dare you!