Community Journal: Family & Relationships

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  meredithpierce9 Apr 15, 2019, 6:44 PM

  "Didn’t drink when sad about dad "

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  CChick Apr 15, 2019, 4:11 PM

  "Getting more on point but need to keep right mindset thinking to mm. Trying to encourage learning and overcoming of obstacles at all times. Trying to have her see her value and Stright with out me. That she can and just needs to work and grow in any way along the way! We got this mm, live you "

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  giladv Apr 15, 2019, 3:32 PM

  "2km, 20kg"

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  esim Apr 15, 2019, 4:03 AM

  "Carita veetis nädala ära Bolognas"

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  giladv Apr 15, 2019, 2:19 AM

  "2km, 20kg "

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  connorchen7 Apr 15, 2019, 12:25 AM

  "This week (April 8st to 15th) • Monday: waited for one date and didn't go to Dancing class • Wed: went to acting class late because of work, signed up for performance for next week • Friday, still planning to go to kickboxing class, seems to be hard to get hold of ILovekickboxing on the phone, will stop by the venue this week • Stats o 15 approaches: didn't go out on Friday night because Alex invited girls over to my place and felt a bit drunk after the party o 3 numbers o 1 pull/date ♣ Sat with Yuli, met 2 girls from Luxemburg at purple and pulled them to B bar, hanged out and danced with them, but my girl was married and Yuli’s was engaged • A few hightlights o Feel more comfortable approaching groups o Feel more comfortable vibing with girls: use word association to vibe with girls and meanwhile run logic steps in the back of my mind: qualification, routines, move venue, go to dancing floor, final pull etc • Things could improve next week o More approaches, I wills stare the long weekend starting from Wed night, so more time for approaches this week o Spend more time studying PUA during day time, for example: 10 to 15 mins during work breaks in morning and afternoon o More day game after work, its true I normal felt tired after work, just need a bit inspiration and internal push "

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  kblatt Apr 14, 2019, 1:23 PM

  "Week 1 was great, I followed through with my commitment everyday."

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  westwingfan Apr 14, 2019, 9:23 AM

  "need to learn to say no to things, and stop taking initiative? maybe"

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  just7up2005 Apr 14, 2019, 4:29 AM

  "Almost made it the whole week... fml"

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  giladv Apr 14, 2019, 2:24 AM

  "2km, 20kg"

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  wolfe05 Apr 12, 2019, 11:25 PM

  "Didn’t drink going on over two weeks now. "

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  NBouchard10 Apr 12, 2019, 11:30 AM

  "J'ai osé, autant que possible, et j'ai appris de mes petits échecs. J'ai pris des notes de mes états d'âme et accomplissements chaque soir. "

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  rnrennie Apr 12, 2019, 7:54 AM

  "No free time helps"

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  BlinkersOn Apr 12, 2019, 3:39 AM

  "Very good, actually. Every attempt followed by a success is very good. Proud of myself actually. But now the next step will be not to allow the child to have her way. I'm just quiet but have not become docile."

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  Bennywallington Apr 11, 2019, 11:05 PM

  "My daily is pretty much automatic now. With a few leniencies with screen times going over the 10PM. New routine with Jacqui will be great as I can tap into the intimate stuff a bit more and I love working in teams and she is fully supportive of the weirdness. WOOOOOO! Thanks for your supports to check-in Steve. Next week is going to be a banger. I can feel it. "

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  ramina Apr 11, 2019, 5:06 PM

  "crash on prof"

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  Jenp57 Apr 11, 2019, 2:05 PM

  "couldn't get to classes on time!"

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  JMFrank Apr 10, 2019, 10:35 PM

  "I fucked up again. She has told me that she has had a tough time, feels lost hates that not one room is done. She has been the driving force in our marriage and wants me to step it up. It has been an issue nearly our entire marriage sometimes I make a change but it is only temporary. I really hate that about myself want to make permanent changes. Read this often so you can get down from your high fucking horse."

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  PilotGamer1933 Apr 10, 2019, 3:41 PM

  "Aunque no hice abstinencia total de videos, voy a poner que fui exitoso, porque estoy lentamente aprendiendo a disfrutar más de la vida real!!! Y xque solamente miré x 2 días (no seguidos jajaj)"

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  pakita Apr 10, 2019, 9:13 AM

  "This week went fast and seemed easier "

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  MagicMax Apr 9, 2019, 9:13 PM

  "👎🏻"

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  CChick Apr 9, 2019, 4:12 PM

  "On way to speech at 7 am asked to be done with school Everyone has to work You would be board if all you did was tv I k ow it’s hard but that is what will make you great Time"

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  Brittneymsufi Apr 9, 2019, 3:56 PM

  "After a slip up in Vegas last week, I’ve decided to set an absolute hard limit of 5 drinks per day to simplify things. I also want to drink less often In general, but I find that part easy and I think it will be easier to concentrate on one thing at a time. I e went to a birthday party in tiburon last weekend, and it was interesting to see how quickly people drink, and how fast 5 drinks can add up. I stuck to my limit, and had 3 at the party, half a glass of wine at dinner, and one glass of wine at home. I felt it was a generous limit, and that I was tipsy but not drunk, and totally in control of myself. After the party, some people went to San Francisco to continue things; and it sounded fun. What I realized is that moderation when it comes to partying means “pick one”! Pick day or night. There will be times when that is difficult, but it will be worth it "

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  BlinkersOn Apr 9, 2019, 5:38 AM

  "Good. So far. Lots of effort but worth it. "

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  Reesc Apr 8, 2019, 7:43 PM

  "I have been counting and mental review as a review, this is inadequate. For the remainder of this goal, I must review a written version of my SMART goal"

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  alexis089 Apr 8, 2019, 5:45 PM

  "yes"

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  kblatt Apr 8, 2019, 3:53 PM

  "Morning 1 was a success"

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  esim Apr 8, 2019, 4:49 AM

  "Olin Piaga terve nädala hommikuti kodus. See nädal saabus Carita sp kingitus lõpuks. Mulle meeldis, et saime õhtuti vahel kahekesi omavahel jutustada."

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  meredithpierce9 Apr 8, 2019, 1:49 AM

  "Didn’t drink my sadness away about dad being sick "

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  connorchen7 Apr 8, 2019, 1:18 AM

  "This week (April 1st to 7th) • Monday: Went to Dancing class on: 2 hours street jazz and hip hop • Wed: went to acting class, be friendly to everyone and encourage teammates. After class, talked to Ali (prob hottest girl in class) on L train from 8th ave to usq • Friday, plan to go to kickboxing class starting next week • Stats o 56 approaches (I had Friday off to make a long weekend) o 7 numbers o 2 dates ♣ Thursday night with Laina (who I got laid last day of Mar), took her to Momofuku for dinner as a reward. She is going back to LA on tomorrow, prob wont see her again ♣ instant date (1 hour) at Chobali café at soho with a tall German blonde during Sundry afternoon • A few hightlights o Added qualification to more than one interactions ♣ “hey tell me one cool thing about you” o Start to listen to youtube Subliminal hot girl videos before bed • Things to focus more next week o More day game approaches during the week from Mon to Thursday o Drink less during weekend: drinking suppress AA and feels good, but slow down my thinking o Also I will start a new Making money commitment this coming week "

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  connorchen7 Apr 8, 2019, 1:17 AM

  "This week (April 1st to 7th) • Monday: Went to Dancing class on: 2 hours street jazz and hip hop • Wed: went to acting class, be friendly to everyone and encourage teammates. After class, talked to Ali (prob hottest girl in class) on L train from 8th ave to usq • Friday, plan to go to kickboxing class starting next week • Stats o 56 approaches (I had Friday off to make a long weekend) o 7 numbers o 2 dates ♣ Thursday night with Laina (who I got laid last day of Mar), took her to Momofuku for dinner as a reward. She is going back to LA on tomorrow, prob wont see her again ♣ instant date (1 hour) at Chobali café at soho with a tall German blonde during Sundry afternoon • A few hightlights o Added qualification to more than one interactions ♣ “hey tell me one cool thing about you” o Start to listen to youtube Subliminal hot girl videos before bed • Things to focus more next week o More day game approaches during the week from Mon to Thursday o Drink less during weekend: drinking suppress AA and feels good, but slow down my thinking o Also I will start a new Making money commitment this coming week "

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  health4s Apr 7, 2019, 10:59 PM

  "I took the kids on a weekend trip to Tyler."

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  vka85 Apr 7, 2019, 10:32 PM

  "hung out with Todd, Randy and Andrea all weekend"

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  wolfe05 Apr 7, 2019, 1:19 PM

  "SOBER! TWO WEEKS!!!"

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  jeffryk Apr 5, 2019, 8:33 PM

  "No meeting yet for April."

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  jeffryk Apr 5, 2019, 8:32 PM

  "Amazon LEO notice."

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  rnrennie Apr 5, 2019, 4:13 AM

  "Parents being insane"

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  Bennywallington Apr 4, 2019, 11:21 PM

  "I had my mosty Flowy Day yesterday and fuck it was ecstacis. The stack is real."

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  Brittneymsufi Apr 4, 2019, 7:13 PM

  "This past week, we had a conference in Las Vegas, and I went over my limit on one day which caused me to act more irresponsibly by not wanting to go home, and become irritated at my husband for wanting to go home. I was harsh and angry about him telling me to come home, and acted completely immaturely... like going home and not continuing to hang out with our friends at the club was the total end of the world. I lost my foresight for a bit, and was basically a petulant child to my husband. I’m really disappointed in myself, but I also know that I need to dust myself off, get back up, and continue to work on this. All of the resources I have say that during the first few years (especially first 3-6 months) of changing a well-engrained habit (especially drinking, due to the effects it has on your cognitive processing/reward center... aka each drink you consume makes it more likely to consume another because it numbs you and makes decision making difficult) it is almost unavoidable to have a slip up or two, and that you must take them as learning experiences, and not give up. It can be easy to feel defeated, and ashamed, but those feelings don’t help you get closer to your goal. I stuck to my limit on Sunday at the pool party, and that was positive. I felt good the next day and had fun during the time we were out. I have identified reasons I had a harder time sticking to my limit on Monday: - I had two drinks earlier in the day, with a big break in between drinking. I think mentally, I wrote those drinks off as not counting toward my nightly limit since it was so much earlier. Even if it is the case, that they don’t affect you so much later, what I realized is that right now I can’t have that type of mental flexibility in terms of my drinking limit. If I start saying “well, my limit for the day is 7 because it’s a really long day so we’re drinking over the course of 12 hours” I am okay with that on special occasions. However, if you say “well, my limit is 7, but the first few drinks I had were really early, so they sort of don’t count” the next thing you know you’re saying yes to a drink later on, and your limits are out the window because you’ve made that hard-line a soft line. Maybe one day it will be okay to think like that, but for now it isn’t. If I say 3 drinks in one day, or even on a special occasion I say 5-7, I absolutely cannot waver from my limit. It doesn’t matter if I have one at brunch at 11 am, and then we go out at 9 pm completely sober... that first drink counts. If I look at it in more flexible terms, even though my body has processed the drink at that time, I find myself losing will power and being too flexible with my limit. I also noticed that I need more control over what I drink. I grabbed one glass of wine at the welcome reception, and realized that I shouldn’t take it out to the welcome booth. I had only had a few sips, and then I let a colleague have the rest. That was another moment that led to flexibility in my limit, because later in the night I was open to having some wine that our coworker brought over before the club because I knew I had only had a few sips of the other glass earlier. That makes it hard to track how many drinks you have had. Next time, I would either have my original glass and put it somewhere hidden to finish later so that I understand it is one drink included in my limit for the day, I would not grab a drink at all, or I would count it as one of my drinks toward my limit even though it was only a few sips. No mental flexibility or confusion there. Lastly, I need to think of some additional way to reward myself in the moment when I notice people are grabbing another drink or encouraging heavy drinking (like in the club) and I say no/stick to my goals. In the moment I have a really hard time saying no because I want to join in. from my reading and courses, i understand that this gets better and easier with time - practice makes perfect. I haven’t had enough practice or success here yet. Each time I do this correctly though, the easier it will become. Each time I don’t do it, I have to start over. Lastly, I think there are very certain occasions (i.e. friend’s bachelorette party, going out with husband for big bday party, mutual friend’s wedding) where there may be a time to say “okay the limit can be 6 or 7 drinks... I.e the pool party day where we got brunch at 11 or so and grabbed a drink, had a few at the pool, ate/sobered up, and then had a few in the evening) however, as a rule my limit should be no more than 5 on any given day. That is a completely generous limit, and it ensures that I will not get to the point where my decision making skills go out the window and I say yes to one more drink because my inhabiting are lowered and everyone else is doing it. In general, I would like to get to a point where I employ the rule of 3s “no more than three drinks per day, no more than three days per week” and that is definitely doable. I really enjoyed my sober month, and dont feel the need to drink every day by any means, or the need to overdue it when I go to dinner/happy hour/etc during the week. It is the “binge drinking social situations” that have always been difficult for me. For now, I’m starting with something safe and doable while being realistic about the fact that we will occasionally still be in those situations (ie, Myll and Larissa’s wedding, bachelor/bachelorette parties, wine tasting with friends, etc) and knowing that a limit of 5 once in a while is not going to negatively impact my health or our relationship. I need to keep in mind that each time I succeed, it will become easier and easier. After my sober break, and staying sober a night at the conference where everyone was drinking, I realize that I’m way happier, funnier, kinder and more thoughtful sober, so if I stick to a lower limit it will be more enjoyable for me and everyone around me. I truly hate that this is difficult for me, but I am not giving up on myself, and I know that with hard work, dedication, and mindfulness I can do this. "

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