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Family & Relationships

Like most things that we count on to be there for us, it's easy to take our family for granted. From sharing a meal together, to agreeing to forgive and forget, commit to caring for the people and staying in touch with those who mean the most in your life.

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No man on his death bed ever looked up into the eyes of his family and friends and said, "I wish I'd spent more time at the office

- Author Unknown

Community Journal: Family & Relationships

wackomode41 May 7, 2024, 3:33 PM

"Took exam today. Think it went pretty well"
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barrettbersin May 7, 2024, 1:23 PM

"I wasn’t able to game this week for a multitude of reasons beyond my control "
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um3b0sh1 May 6, 2024, 7:11 PM

"Kozmo (my cat) got on my lap and wanted pets, but managed to sneak the VBS into the cuddle session "
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wackomode41 May 6, 2024, 9:57 AM

"shit it totally forgot about this. tbh i don’t really need motivation rn bc the exam is tmr. dam $40 to trump. whoops"
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Jortega1 May 6, 2024, 12:52 AM

" Yestereve total fail. Was going okay all day until about 6pm, when another well-intentioned effort at helping a relatively trivial art task with skill experience quickly got out of our control and spiralled into a cascade of reciprocally intensifying emotionally charged conceptual misunderstandings (too rapidly picking up logic-clouding emotional momentum) and descended/escalated into the destructive cycle of her emotional overwhelm (with accompanying crying expression) exacerbated by my mounting sense of frustration-->anger-->runaway rapid thinking pontification which I characteristically mistook for unassailable assurance of (self)righteous knowledge, and pontification accompanied by condescending judgment, both furthering her overwhelming confusion (only intensifying by my pathologically mounting rapid thinking/conclusions), and proportionally slipping of the real observational logic of what was really going on in the rapidly deteriorating control of the situation. Increasingly blind to focusing my actions from constructive mutual understanding and help to utter self protection and justification for my increasingly hurtful language, tone, and voice level. By the exhaustion stage, she was so far behind being able to process and kindly address my accelerating runaway emotional hijack (to which of course I was completely blind to) and absorbing increasingly aggressive judgments coupled with the crazymaking accusations to her of incapacity for logical thought, real lack of sober emotional control, and arch-asshole sense of scientific (masked moralizing) patronizing of knowing what's best for both of us both in this current situation, and in the typical verdict of unilaterally laying the ground rules for future (one-sided: she was not being aggressive or defensive) 'confrontations'. Horrid, typical personal/historical pathology cycle of false self-convinced, unassailably 'right', assurance of just/coolheadedly logical thinking, lethally mixing with the metafactual blindness to self analysis/awareness of what I'm really doing/what's really happening to my slipping control over irrational thinking. All this outwardly masked (unintentionally/unself-aware) by assuring my stance as THE logical party (when I'm the one really under the hijack of accelerated causational-thinking-mistaken-for-empirical-thinking in a self-justifying lunacy of rapid-sequential thinking that had long-ago abandoned real observation/silent, patient listening, and (now hopelessly late) giving her any time to calmly (and heroically) master her attempts to control her overpowering emotion (born from a noble kindness and benevolent nature) AND process it to reach a peaceable solution and MUTUALLY helpful solution that ends this horrific and hurtful cycle. Lunatic. Utterly geomentrically crazymaking for her compounded with the paralysing paradigm of myself concluding I'm the logical 'one' being made (with it's inevitable implied accusation) to stonily endure/withstand a storm of emotional hysteria and the eventually complete shift to my own protection and desire for restitution. Absolutely crazymaking for her, insufferable, and I'm so undeserving of her obvious forgiveness and futher (completely unjustified) tender attempts to assuage and sooth my deserved sense of guilt and complete shame. I became the biggest Dick possible. * This is how stupid men justify horrible actions and ruin the world, their better relationships, and themselves--naturally resulting in ruin and either self-justifying further indiscriminate violence upon everyone and/or eventual (equally violent) self-annihilation. Damned testosterone, Damned that shortest of fuses to explosive thoughts and actions, Damned Man. Men must always fight an inner war against an evolutionally reinforced penchant for conflict-thinking and violent action. Men have evolved to be cursed with an atavistic tend to rapidly become absolute monsters hopelessly beyond any level-headed sense of control to catch up. --"Quick to judge, quick to anger; slow to understand." ---Rush and...meta-paradoxically for my own writing here: --"ah, so typical of man to shift the blame for his goatish disposition on the charge of a star! [evolution/biological determinism/science]" ------Iago, Othello: Shakespeare [insanely paradoxical surmise from a cowardly, coldly-calculating, deceptive, arch-villain able and willing to accomplish satisfaction for his nefarious, self-absorbed awareness of unmanly personal inadequecies by cunning manipulation of another's misguidedly courageous capacity for grave action. Conclusions and Remedies: [hastily jotted (sic) in sadly-belated attempt at brevity: I've already wasted two+ good hours of time I could have been bending my efforts to good action and companionship, wallowing in self-absorbed writing] 1) Listen to her, you damned fool: this is why you've wound up having to use this app in the first place. 2) Listen more: give Jules the time she needs to override her benevolent nature for empathy to process your mounting lunacy, or at least keep some margin of hope at catching up. 3) [you guessed it] Listen even more: and keep a short choke-leash on your own insufferable false sense of self-righteous rationality: it's actually a rabid pit-dog raised in a fighting corral. 4) Soberly realize and keep focused on the solid fact that there isn't just one grand, just type and State of Logic. If you turn your logic card over you'll sadly realize you self-drunkedly wrote your own name and qualifications yourself, under the guise of an entirely fabricated committee of licenced and qualified professional arbiters of membership to the Esteemed Brotherhood of Logic. 5) Exercise more, and look into upping your meds, you lunatic 6)....oh you're insufferable, just stop here. "
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jsshrom May 6, 2024, 12:32 AM

"3.6"
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um3b0sh1 May 5, 2024, 5:32 PM

"I tried doing a mini meditation before and it helped a lot with getting into the visualization "
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reidmac08 May 5, 2024, 11:35 AM

"Up until 15 mins before bed (missed packaging powders, however)"
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wackomode41 May 4, 2024, 9:30 PM

"Man I didn’t study that much today unfortunately. But I did manage to do laundry and do some reflecting. I really need to up my game though, less than 3 days to my exam now. COME ON LETS WAKE UP AND GRINDDD"
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um3b0sh1 May 4, 2024, 6:10 PM

"Had a dream that is sticking with me and had trouble entering my visualization since I kept returning to the dream, but I did my best"
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wackomode41 May 3, 2024, 7:15 PM

"Had my exam today. "
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amkabrich May 3, 2024, 6:24 PM

"5/3 report: Daily Avg 2h 2m and 126 pickups"
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um3b0sh1 May 3, 2024, 5:31 PM

"Had to change up the timing slightly but still did it, it was a little easier today"
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reidmac08 May 3, 2024, 10:19 AM

"Lots of rest today physically, and mentally minimal interaction with others after 3pm. "
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wackomode41 May 2, 2024, 10:41 PM

"Definitely was productive today. Exam tmr, let’s go!"
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um3b0sh1 May 2, 2024, 3:36 PM

"I'm very tired, and I found I was once again pretty distractible but I did my best"
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wackomode41 May 1, 2024, 8:45 PM

"fuck trump"
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Jortega1 May 1, 2024, 6:53 PM

"8/10"
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um3b0sh1 May 1, 2024, 5:05 PM

"Had a hard time getting into the visualization and found I was really easily distracted, but I did my best and at least tried to do it"
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um3b0sh1 Apr 30, 2024, 10:02 PM

"Had a hard time waking up today and almost justified skipping it so I wouldn't be late to class but did it anyway"
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wackomode41 Apr 30, 2024, 8:49 PM

"Yes I did my 3 hours today. Fuck I’m screwed. WHY DID I DO THIS TO MYSELF. I’m making a big change in my life. Never again is this going to happen ong. Ok let’s try to do everything we can to pass controls"
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reidmac08 Apr 30, 2024, 10:22 AM

"Bed before greens/veggies blend, minimal. "
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wackomode41 Apr 29, 2024, 6:36 PM

"I actually did my 3 hours today, but I’m starting to think it’s too little too late. We really need to grind these next days. COME ON. LETS DO THIS"
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um3b0sh1 Apr 29, 2024, 6:05 PM

"After sitting up I had a little trouble really entering my visualization but after a bit I got there and was able to do the bilateral stimulation as well"
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wackomode41 Apr 28, 2024, 8:28 PM

"Again I didn’t really accomplish my goal but I did do more work than yesterdau"
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um3b0sh1 Apr 28, 2024, 6:30 PM

"I almost forgot and missed it but I caught myself and did it :)"
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jsshrom Apr 28, 2024, 3:55 PM

"4/day"
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wackomode41 Apr 27, 2024, 10:02 PM

"To be honest I didn’t do any studying today. But no way am I sending money to trump"
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um3b0sh1 Apr 27, 2024, 6:10 PM

"I woke up and after sitting up did my task"
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um3b0sh1 Apr 26, 2024, 11:30 PM

"Even though it's a day early I did the visualization and some bilateral stimulation while I was in the car ride to the sushi place and the bookstore today :)"
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wackomode41 Apr 25, 2024, 2:47 AM

"Had a hella fun day exploring amsterdam today. well see what happens wink"
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They_Luv_Liv Apr 24, 2024, 4:18 PM

"i miss my friends already"
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ChristineStephan Apr 24, 2024, 9:57 AM

"maybe listened a little bit too much. I need just a little more concentration when listening and will try to find a better balance."
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