How many people do you know that have set a goal to improve their relationship?  It probably isn’t as frequent as dieting, improving their body image, or growing in their career.  Many couples overlook their relationship and forget about nurturing it. If your goal is to improve your relationship, then you are ahead of the gang.  It is about that time to take away that emotional pain, get rid of the distance in the relationship; it will take work but it is well worth it. 

Here are a few key things you can do to repair your relationship:

1. Weekly Date nights:  You can’t grow a relationship without giving it attention.  Make time for connecting emotionally, enjoying one another, and connecting through a nice date.  Set aside one night a week for a date.
2. 30 Minute Debriefing:  Life gets busy and many couples overlook checking in with one another and discussing their day.  Carve out a half hour of time to share with your partner about the highs and lows of your day, catch them up and let them into your world.  Then let your partner do the same.   (Don’t forget to turn off the television and other distractions). 
3. Change your Shoes:  Many times we are so focused on how we feel and what we think that we overlook what is going on for our partner.  Take a few moments to step out of your shoes, and step into your partner’s shoes for a bit.  Try to understand what they feel, what they are thinking, and what it is like to be in their shoes.   A different stance may help you better understand the relationship.
4. Get Educated: Most couples get caught in a pattern of addressing issues, continuously talking about the same thing, repeating their sides over and over, and getting nowhere.  Learn how to create a secure relationship and communicate effectively by simply getting educated.  A great relationship book that teaches about communication and creating a secure connection is Hold Me Tight, by Sue Johnson.
5. Daily Goals: Ask yourself daily about what you have done to improve the relationship.  In the beginning of the day set goals for the relationship…and at the end of the day, check-in and see how you did.  Do this daily to help you keep on track and be consistent.
6. Serious Talk vs. Good times:  When the relationship is off track, people can get stuck in the never ending “serious talks” and the relationship then turns into a strand of ongoing negative and emotional discussions.  Try to balance out the relationship and have some nice times together as well.  It just might help!