aghayden52
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Approach 10 Women Every Day+nofap
Star this Commitment
Week 8 of 8
aghayden52 commits to:
I am allowed to 'fap' only on Sunday.
Because there aren't any good venue choices on Sunday, I can skip Sunday IF I go on a date with a girl on Sunday. I'm curious how this will effect my mood since I've always felt game and mood were positively correlated, this will give me more data since I haven't been consistent with game lately.
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My Commitment Journal
 StStyles
April 15, 2017, 11:57 PM
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| update?? | |
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aghayden52
April 8, 2017, 11:49 PM
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I'm adding I need to attempt to kiss three girls every time I go out to my commitment because this forces me to practice not just approaching but taking interactions in a sexual direction. |
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aghayden52
April 8, 2017, 8:34 PM
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4/7/17 State: I was focused on coaching, and while I did this, I noticed my state was fucked, it went down more and more. Maybe this is natural because I’m around strangers and this is intrinsically uncomfortable if you’re not being social for evolutionary reasons, maybe this is because I’m judging myself though, I’ve told myself I need to approach, and I’m not, therefore I must be punished. There’d definitely be value in learning to be more comfortable with being in a venue without approaching, being happy no matter my situation. The best I can do while coaching is to approach nearby girls in between my students interactions, it’s a way to be social and not totally get out of the zone. This continued fairly consistently until I met a girl who was very clearly into me, with this girl I built my state and felt quite a bit better within a few minutes. I teased pretty hard (almost too hard), and I was physical and the validation perhaps brought my state back. I also found it was really easy to build state, it only took a few approaches and a little bit of practice being physical and boom I was in state and feeling a lot of intent. I noticed I was reliant on my wing still, I made an excuse by telling myself that I didn’t have my phone and if I lost him he might leave without me. But so the fuck what, take a risk, it would make my night more epic to just jump in and go for it anyway, not worrying about being attached ot my wing. This is really important, as soon as I start stepping up without relying on a wing, my results will EXPLODE, it’s probably the only thing holding me back from RSD instructor level results, itf not even better than them . Going for the dances and grinding really pumped my state, it was the first time I started having a genuinely significant amount of fun. I felt a lot of stress and anxiety early in the night while I wasn’t taking action, the direct correlation between action taking vs not action taking and state is VERY clear. Intent: I was waiting for permission to show intent, the girl who was clearly into me, I showed intent with. The rest of the night though I was talking to girls and I was a bit hesitant, I was a bit worried about getting rejected by them, the hot Asian, the hot black giril, I wasn’t showing real intent, I was waiting for them to give me green lights, but I could have been much more sexual with them and I still would have gotten good results. I was holding back my intent so much, that girl with the beautiful eyes, when she showed disinterest I got really reactive and instead of showing more intent, I tried to force it, what I could have done to show intent is to have been vulnerable, “Sorry, I’m normally not like this, you’re just so beautiful and you’re making me nervous. I’m shaking in me boots.” There were times when I showed intent, like on the dance floor with the girl I straight up grdined with, (that was hot btw). I also wasn’t showing intent in general through the night because I was judging myself, I was telling myself a story about Yasmynn, I was thinking about how I should just be faithful to her and that this was stupid to go out and pickup girls, I felt guilty because there’s still a part of me attached to the comfortable societal script of monogomy. I know that it can be meaningful and extremely fun to have one night stands and meet new women, but I want to believe that it’s not meaningful and that it’s empty because this is the message drilled into us through society. But I know, deep down, this is not based on anything real. But believeing this gives me an excuse to not take action and to get in my own way for the sake of comfort. Killer instinct: Was the killer instinct there? No. Killer instinct is when you have the full Glengary Glenn Ross mindset, it’s being the Ted Bundy of pickup, doing whatever it takes to get the results you want, and ripping your self image out of the picture entirely. There wasn’t a single interaction where I had this killer instinct, if I did I would have made out with the girl who was really into me. I would have tried to lead so many more of my approaches (like the black girl sitting down, I would have reached my hand out and tried to dance with her, or the sexy indian girl dancing I would have danced with her, or the sexy friend of the petite blonde upstairs, I would have made statements of intent.) I was playing not to lose, definitely not playing to win, my rationalizations and excuses were carrying a lot of weight and I was using them as a reason to be in a self-defeating mindset. But if I was truly playing to win, with a killer instinct then that wouldn’t have mattered. Period. I would have been focused on the task at hand and that little pathetic voice in my head would have shut off, just like it did when I pulled the girl the previous night. I can only be self-defeating and have these depressive existential thoughts when I’m not taking massive action, TURN THE MIND OFF by playing to win. The other question, if I had a real killer instinct would I have went back to get food and water? NO. I would have gamed until I couldn’t game anymore. I would have stayed till four to, I would have approached the few fatties there for the reference. If I really wanted to be a gangster I would have trusted in the process and fully taken action. |
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aghayden52
April 7, 2017, 10:36 PM
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4/6/17- Summary: We went to intrigue, cool venue, essentially a smaller version of XS. Definitely some really hot girls, I wasn't in a particularly good mood when I entered the venue with Alan, but I trusted that I would be able to change that. I started off getting myself to feel more social by telling girls that walked by that I loved them. I also told girls i liked their hip to waist ratio, but I felt a bit uncalibrated saying that, so it may be better to start with shit that is in my comfort zone, then to do stuff that isn't, start with I love you and if I feel inspired to say something else, I can do that. This was interesting, my mood got worse after I said lines like I like your hip to waist ratio, it did the opposite of what I had hoped. With Alan, pushing him to do things that he feels a lot of resistance towards may do the same. My best bet may be to start a little slower, go just a bit easier on him, to help him catch more momentum. I was quite self-judgmental at the beginning, feeling notably stressed, I had a desire to leave, but I still had the belief that I would change it around. I approached a tall skinny black girl who was super receptive (and super drunk) She was just trying to get me to buy her a drink, but I stood my ground and told her some dude over there looked like a better target, she was offended, but I didn't give a fuck. After this, Alan was talking with a really hot girl and I didn't want to lose him, I kinda just stood there and observed. I could have approached some girls within eyesight, this would be the best bet in the situation so I'm not just twiddling my thumbs but I'm also not disappearing. Tough to say for sure though, it may be better to just observe him and see what he's doing well. (Main lesson he need to learn is to LEAD HARD, he's not leading nearly enough) After this I approached a two set and it was on within about 15 seconds, I started talking about Game of Thrones, and what I was doing well, was talking about it with intense enthusiasm and positivity (later it got a bit logical), but I was sharing excitement. She made coments indicating she was interested, I kept the talk going, went into a variety of subjects and basically showed her that I was a cool and interesting dude, she was very into it, but i wasn't ready to pull (especially because I was with Alan), I looked for him and on the way I went to the dance floor and hesitate a couple times to dance with girls. I got notably pissed at myself for my hesitation, and my state dropped quite a bit. I could have fixed this by doing something less than dancing with them because I felt hesitant, instead I could have just introduced myself, or I could have danced near them, or said I love you. Afterward I continued hesitating, I was thinking very self-defeating thoughts like, "Shit stuart sees me not being cool, he won't want me to coach him ever for sure." I found Alan and we approached two hot thirty something Brazilian girls. My banter was fine logically, I wasn't being less witty than usual, however, the place it was coming from was a bit hurt, a tad self-resentful, and I felt a lot of inner resistance. I could have taken this as an opportunity to say, "I'm normally not like this, you're just very beautiful and I find you intimidating." This would have forced me to let go of the self-image I was holding onto, be VULNERABLE. SHe started dancing near me, which almost always means she wants to dance with me, but I didn't do it I made excuses and told myself she would be offended (so what?) An indian dude from the group interrupted this interaction and took attention away from me, I tried to include myself again, but I was feeling reactive, and so, it didn't work out. I got more pissed at myself because I was out of the zone. THe only thing to do here is take more action, to just keep on keeping on and turst on the process, accpet my state, don't try to fight it, and keep going. I bailed on that set while Alan was still in it, I did a couple approaches with Stu, they went well for the most part, and I started to feel more in the zone. There were two gorgeous girls by the dance floor we were talking to, mine was into me, she was laughing at my shit (I called her a garbage woman at one point and said she was beautiful like a tree) I could tell it was almost too far over the line, but not quite, and I even toned it back. I could also tell Stu's girl wasn't into him. Stu tried to lead it to the dance floor, but then he hesitated and the girls started to change her mind, I could have easily stepped in and said, "Fuck yeah, lets do it." But I hesitated also and the interaction disintegrated. Should have definitely done this, she was a solid 9 and cool too, very good chance I could have pulled her if I just lead and kept doing what I was doing. We then approached a large group of girls, I was feeling in my head again because I was pissed off at myself, one of the girls was like a 9.5 and while stu was talking to her she kept looking over at me, and I definitely got the impression she was into me. I stepped towards her and talked and she didn't even here me so I felt more in my head because I was feeling victimy. I talked to her a tiny bit which was good and then I danced crazy and got some positive attentino, but afterwards it fizzled out. We talked to some girls by the bar afterwards, mine wasn't into it, and I danced by her, she was so uninterested that she literally walked away. But I thought it was funny, I enjoyed it and so my mood started to shift again. I eventually found the girl who I clicked with at the beginning of the night, and it was very ON, at one point I felt a bit nervous, and I told her she was making me nervous (vulnerable, good), I left her to find Alan, but it turned out he left the club entirely. I was going to meet him in the parking lot but I saw the girl who it was on with again holding hands with a guy who an obvious douche, and I thought, NAH he isn't going to fuck her. I talked to her, found out she lost her friend who had left to the casino and pulled her out of the club. We looked for her friend for a bit, she was with a dude so I said we should go to the Meridian. I tried to get a ride with Alan but I may as well have been more straight to the point and just got the damn lyft. I pulled her to the place, she was super into me, but also very nervous. She was afraid to kiss me, and she eventually she said it would be easier if she didn't really like me. Turned out she has a fiance, I convinced her monogomy was a lie and she was crying and then I had her ask me to fuck her. What generated fun? What generated sexual intent? What did I do well? |
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