stopnarrativ
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Media regulation
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stopnarrativ commits to:
Not engage in media that I find overly addictive, such as manga and web novels. I will not engage with movies, youtube videos, or games in my apartment, only when outside, and with others. I accept boredom, and will replace previous activities with healthier, non-addictive ones.
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My Commitment Journal
 stopnarrativ
December 12, 2018, 7:12 PM
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Made a lot of progress from last month's commitment. Spent two days afterwards consumed with media. It was fun, and it is a strong shift in perspective. Allows me to review what I've done and gotten from the past month. Also, review my direction. Are those my true concerns? Anything to re-frame? I also get to review what I can get out of media addiction, or review the media I voraciously consume. I've done this a few times, and I do feel it is a bit easier each time. I won't assume I can give up all bad media forever, but I'll be satisfied giving it up in monthly chunks. Things I've recognized from media addiction is: 1. How much money it costs me. When I don't prepare food and properly, I am forced to eat whatever I can. Before and during work, this means eating out, and possibly again after because I am tired or it is late. 2. I am afraid to engage with people, hesitant, when I am not prepared. Because I'm a mess, because my mind isn't clear, because I'm not focused on them (I'm thinking of stories and addiction), because I'm thinking of the things I should be doing or haven't done. This cuts at my confidence in engaging with people, a serious detriment. 3. I am hesitant to do any good habits during periods of addiction, because I know I'll be on the track of being good again, and working hard. Or least wanting to, doing it for a moment, and struggling for a bit before falling back. And that struggle takes a lot out of me. Thankfully my work structure now is forcing me out. It would be hard to imagine how to get out without it. 4. It is hard to allow myself to enjoy the rewards I give myself for completing hard tasks, because the addiction feels like such a great reward, or it's so stimulating, rewards don't matter to me. Anyway, I'm glad to be forced into this restriction again. And am eager to see what I learn and how I grow from this period. |
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December 12 to January 12
Successful
Success
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