Reduce Self-sabotage Star this Commitment
Week 6 of 6

Alison2310 commits to:
Keep my emotions in check and not reduce myself to angry outbursts and unkindness towards my family and friends when I drink alcohol.
No more reports due
My Commitment Journal
April 20, 2020, 10:37 AM
Really good this week even though Lock-down has been extended. A modicum of alcohol to make me feel like I'm not completely trapped in a parallel universe but, generally, I've been very jovial and happy over the last week and I've managed to shed 3lbs in weight, played loads of guitar, finished creating initial artwork for my brother's business cards, been paid for a Tangerine job, baked cakes and managed to have fun via Zoom with the entire family too. So woo-hoo!

Straight to the scores for this week:
1) Kindness and Compassion towards Others: 100% (A), Alcohol-free Days (I commit to 4 per week) = 4 achieved which is 100% (A).
Therefore, my total is a resounding 100% (A) and I'm very proud of myself.
April 13, 2020, 12:19 PM
We're just starting Week 4 of Lock-down and I have to say I've not been nearly as positive about things this week and I noticed that I'm getting irritated by things - not when I've had a drink, but just other people being inconsiderate. Our neighbour has always been a loud talker (we can hear him shouting at his family through the wall but tend to ignore it as he's so friendly and jovial when we see him). On Saturday, we were on the patio - only a few feet away from him, on his patio, which adjoins ours, and he started talking on his mobile. Being an Indian gentleman he talks in his native language very quickly and very loudly. We tried to ignore it and ended up going to hit a few golf balls on the lawn outside our gate. We realised he'd moved and was sitting on his first floor balcony as his voice was echoing around the houses, the lawn and unbearably loud! All of a sudden he boomed out "Hello guys!". We looked up startled by the English words. He waved at us and continued to thunder at us with a big grin "You having fun?". Oh my god - I just couldn't help myself: "Yes, thanks but your voice is really carrying out here!". He suddenly covered his mouth, rushed inside and shut the door. I felt so bad. Why couldn't I just say "Yes thanks"?. Anyway, I would have failed myself if Sarah and Steve, our neighbours on the other side, hadn't said, "Well done for your subtle comment. He was so loud". I've had a few other little brushes with irritation over the weekend but, when I look at them in detail, they're not that bad. I need to let things go a bit.

So here are my scores:
1) Kindness and Compassion towards Others: 70% (B-), Alcohol-free Days (I commit to 4 per week) = 3 which is 75% (B). Therefore, my total is 73% (B).
April 6, 2020, 8:12 AM
Week 3 of Total Lock-down and there isn't much to report - obviously - although I have had 4 alcohol-free days this week and have only been snappy once with my Mum because she keeps asking daft questions such as whether Pete will be taken on again by the company that made him redundant before the lock-down. I mean, how on earth am I meant to know that! Perhaps I need a stock answer like "only time will tell".
So, here are the results for the week:
1) Kindness and Compassion towards my Family: 90% (B), 2) Alcohol-free Days (I commit to 4 per week) = 4: 100% (A). Therefore, my total is 95% (A)
March 30, 2020, 8:07 AM
We're into Week 2 of Total Lock-down and there are times (usually as it's getting dark) when I feel the surge of despair and I get over-taken by the worst darkest thoughts but, with help from my Daily Calm app and Terry's logical and straightforward support, I get through it and feel a bit better. It's important that I stay true to me and don't go made with the alcohol that's in the house and it's vital that I'm there for my parents even though they are now in lock-down but Mum has a way of making me feel a bit guilty for staying away from them. As Terry said: Would I rather be made to feel guilty for a couple of months, to keep my parents and us safe, or do I want to feel guilty for the rest of my life if I passed anything on, or caught something and passed it to Terry? He's got a point.
Anyway, for what they're worth, here are my scores:
1) Kindness and Compassion towards my Family: 100% (A), 2) Alcohol-free Days (I commit to 4 per week) = 3, 75% (C+). Therefore, my total is 88% (B) which is an admirable achievement
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April 13 to April 20
April 6 to April 13
March 30 to April 6
March 23 to March 30
Recipient of Stakes
Money to a friend ($5.00 - awaiting response from... Avalon1111)
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Total at stake: $30.00
Stakes per period: $5.00
Remaining Stakes: $0.00
Total Money Lost: $0.00
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