bignigey01
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No Pornography
Star this Commitment
Week 46 of 52
bignigey01 commits to:
No masturbation for a year
45
0
Last reported: Success
Next report due:
August 7
11:00 PM GMT
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My Commitment Journal
 bignigey01
August 1, 2026, 9:26 AM
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| Urges are still apparent of course with much of it stemming from either Richelle Ryan, Jules Jordan of K Klixen. I’ve noticed also that women I’ve seen at the gym with a curvaceous figure tend to take my breath away. I feel this is reflective of the type of women I fantasize from porn. Because that’s the standard of attraction I want in women, it can feel even more demoralising when trying to approach. It feels intimidating because the standard is quite high. This is also why it can feel frustrating and hopeless. I have the habit in interacting with men when at the gym in the locker room or sauna. But I don’t have the same inclination when it comes to women, in case they suspect I’m trying to come onto them. It’s easier to approach when there’s something genuine you want to interact with them on. | |
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bignigey01
July 25, 2026, 7:03 AM
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| Had some urges this week and they usually tend to occur when I’m in bed. Most recently there was something on Instagram about a former adult actress that compelled me to look over pics of them. I’ve also had ‘meditation’ instances of me fantasising over the likes of Ryan Conner, Richelle Ryan and women I’ve noticed at the gym. It does at times feel a bit tormenting that I don’t have the courage to approach them. However I also don’t have anything genuine to approach them for. Being more in touch with my community I feel is safer when approaching people in general, and doing it everyday is easier. Even if there’s the risk of being rejected, it’s to filter out those that I’m able to build a connection with. | |
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bignigey01
July 18, 2026, 7:27 AM
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| Haven’t had as many urges this week. I’d chalk that up to being out more of an evening at the gym. Had strong urges yesterday which was due to finishing work early. I’m thinking that I shouldn’t feel too guilty for looking at women via sexual cues. This has been a thing since last year from my CBT sessions. After my next therapy (HiCBT), I’d want to break away from therapy altogether as I realize I’ve been in it for almost every year for the last few years. Peer support will probably be my next port of call. | |
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bignigey01
July 11, 2026, 7:41 AM
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| Haven’t had as many urges but they do at times pop up when I’m out and about. Me going to the gym more often of an afternoon definitely helps. The trick though is to go straight after work. It’s the usual fare lately of what porn I roam. Usually k klixen or lately, Mrs Creampie content. I have around 2 more months to go of this and I’m making a go of it. | |
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